Bokonon

In the past, I would never hesitate to share the fruits of my modeling. With these, I hesitated. Firstly, I’ll say that I adore Pictor and had fantastic fun with him and making these.

My hesitation is, in part, the result of an audience that is growing to encompass friends and acquaintances that may not have the context I am accustomed to within the community of models/photographers/performers/artists. This is an issue I knew would eventually arise for me as I integrate the facets of my life. 

“A pin-up girl, also known as a pin-up model, is a model whose mass-produced pictures see wide appeal as popular culture.” -wikipedia

A thought, not entirely unfamiliar, also added to my uncertainty. The woman I am portraying in these images is not one I identify with. This is a mask. I am playing the “modern pin up”. While I have an appreciation for the art form and liberation of the pin-up, I do not aspire to be one. It’s both a gift and curse that I am able to fit the mould of what is considered attractive by the mainstream. My audience is much wider, but I am always struggling against the simplicity of fitting this particular image. Certainly, life is easier if I wear the mask of femininity but I am embittered towards the attention I receive. With the perfect makeup, outfit and attitude I can attract whomever, but only on my dirtiest and most cynical of days do I keep the attention of those with depth. I recognize this game for what it is, and I know I will not be so able to play it as time passes. I indulge when it fancies me.

I am sincerely saddened by the beautiful and intelligent women I see who are trapped by an image that earns them instant attention, and perhaps gratification. I worry that as their beauty fades they will lose their identity. If the world continues to reward something that takes no effort on your behalf: will you ever develop an inner world that is rich enough to enthral you when shallow eyes turn away?