Bokonon

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This state, so familiar. Jaw clenched until it aches. Nausea and loss of appetite. Shitting blood. Foggy memory. Closed heart. I just want everyone to be happy. I can’t make them happy. My resources are all pulled towards giving a simple distraction from their woes. I’m tired. There is no honesty here. My love isn’t enough. I don’t dare to conceive what living by your standards would do to me. and. I hope that we both know my standards, while incredibly real and important to me, are arbitrary.  Full experience is of greater value to me than simple happiness.

This state, so familiar. Jaw clenched until it aches. Nausea and loss of appetite. Shitting blood. Foggy memory. Closed heart. I just want everyone to be happy. I can’t make them happy. My resources are all pulled towards giving a simple distraction from their woes. I’m tired. There is no honesty here. My love isn’t enough.

I don’t dare to conceive what living by your standards would do to me. and. I hope that we both know my standards, while incredibly real and important to me, are arbitrary. 

Full experience is of greater value to me than simple happiness.

(via fauvette)

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